I am Cindy

New news

2009-05-20T09:03:00.002-04:00

First of all let me say that I am ecstatic to have gotten my period, a week and 2 days late, but that beats the alternative thank you berry much. Woo hoo, I'm so happy I don't have to deal with that whole mess right now.

Secondly, poor little Javier had to get his teeth cleaned yesterday by the vet and they removed FIVE teeth. Apparently he was already missing 2 teeth, so all in all he is 8 short of normal. He is my little redneck hickspanic kitty kat. He was pretty stoned last night, but he seemed fine. His eyes were all glassy and bloodshot and his pupils were HUGE, and he kept begging me for food. He should be back to normal today, hopefully.

Lastly, Miss Daisy Dog is coming home with us Friday after work and I'm so excited you have no idea. I can hardly wait. It's going to be so much fun having a puppy and I really hope that she will fit in with our pre-exsisting animal family. I think if I just get both the kitties super stoned they won't even notice, lol. (just kidding by the way, I am strongly opposed to recreational drug use by kitty cats.)

That's all I got for now folks, check back later.

Look at these lazy bastards

2009-05-14T19:22:00.003-04:00

Those bastards, sleeping the day away when some people have to work for a living!

Moving

2009-05-05T07:47:00.002-04:00

Aaron's buying a house, for us. I know it may sound weird, but I'm not going to be property with him unless I have a ring on my finger, so that's that. So since he has better credit than me, he's buying a house for us to live in. I'm really excited about moving though. It's a nice house, but it's going to need a lot of TLC. It's a forclosure. The people who lived there before were running a daycare center and most of the walls are painted this god awful pink. The garage was converted into a daycare playroom and there are disney princesses and crap like that all over the walls. There are no appliances in the place. The carpets are trashed and smell like cat piss. There is a crack in the master bathroom tub. So there is a lot of work and money that's going to have to go into this house. Not to mention that we don't even have enough furniture to fill the place. It's a 4 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom house, with a partially finished basement and a fenced in backyard. Perfect place for Ms. Daisy Dog to run around and play, and lots of places for Mr. Q and Javi-Bear to hide and be all stealth and cat-like. So closing date is May 29th. Our lease is up at the apartment at the end of June, so we will actually have a month buffer to fix up the place and make it livable, of course we will be paying double rent that month too. Oh well...

Once everything is cleaned up and the place in presentable we will be having a housewarming party. Hopefully we can combine that with our birthday party, which is July 10. Anyone reading this blog is invited.

OMG Puppies!!!

2009-04-29T18:59:00.005-04:00

Aaron and I went to go visit our puppy. She's five weeks old.Isn't she precious?
She fell asleep on my boobs, she loves me already.
Here's mama, with her babies.
The whole clan! I wish we could take them all.

Do you think he's trying to tell me something?

2009-04-28T20:08:00.002-04:00

It's either "rub my chin" or "my dish is empty", pretty sure it's a combination of both.

Drugs

2009-04-27T07:52:00.002-04:00

My doctor and I decided to add a new medication to my cabinet of psychotropic drugs (well there was only 1, now there's 2). And I actually can already feel the effects of this stuff. I feel the energy and the drive to be more productive. That's a good thing. I just feel like a crazy person though, I mean, who needs 2 different antidepressant medications?

Me, that's who. I beat all y'all in the depression game. Woo Hoo!

Also, with this stuff I have a decreased appetite so I have to actually force myself to eat before I become ravenous. I used to just eat all the time. So there's another plus.

It's hot out today

2009-04-26T14:28:00.005-04:00

I should be cleaning my closet right now, since that's the project I assigned to myself today, but it's soooooo messy as you can see

and I just don't feel like hanging out in my closet when I could be outdoors playing frisbee with someone but no one wants to go outside with me :(

Here is another photo, just for shits & giggles:

Helloooooooo

2009-04-15T18:46:00.002-04:00

I took the day off work today, I felt like poop and I needed a mental health day. I cleaned out the fridge, cleaned the bathroom, and cooked some awesome thai curry. Along with vegging out talking online to friends all day, napping, and watching the news about those crazy tea bagging parties. Overall a pretty good day, I wish I didn't have to go back to work tomorrow, but *sigh* I do. How lame.

I'm broke

2009-04-09T09:21:00.001-04:00

It's become quite obvious to me that I simply have no idea how to properly manage my money. It's been over a month now where I am literally living paycheck to paycheck. Granted, I did have to pay $500 to get my car fixed a few weeks ago and that put a dent in my bank account. But why is it that I can't seem to just keep the money that I'm making instead of letting it run through my fingers like water? I need to take a class or something, but only if it's free.

Very disappointed

2009-04-02T18:09:00.002-04:00

Both Katherine and Olivia have mentioned how they love Janet Evanovich (or at least I think those two are the ones who said that), so I bought this book one day while searching costco for bulk sized kitty litter.It SUCKED majorly. Like, I kept waiting for some kind of cohesive plot, and there was none. I kept waiting for some common thing tying together all this random stuff that kept happening, but it never came. It was just a really weak and unbelievable romance. No real conflict or drama or anything. I hate to write off an author completely, but if this is indicative of all her other books, I don't think I will bother reading any others.

Totally adorable

2009-04-02T18:08:00.001-04:00

Kingsford Goes to the Beach - video powered by Metacafe

Hoorah!

2009-04-01T10:04:00.002-04:00

So we are officially getting a puppy. I don't have pictures yet I'm sorry :( I think we are going to name her Daisy, but of course you can't really name a dog before you bring her home.

Aaron and I are looking for a house, even though Aaron is going to be the one buying it because he has better credit than I do.

Work sucks, I'm bored out of my mind and I want to switch careers. Not really sure what I would want to switch to, but there you have it. I'm unfulfilled.

Spring is here, and that excites me greatly.

Puppies!

2009-03-23T18:41:00.004-04:00

So one of Aaron's coworkers has a boxer.

Who got it on with a german shepherd
And I totally want to get in on that action.

Just for fun

2009-03-22T23:32:00.002-04:00

My real-life boyfriend

My real boyfriend

*sigh*

Letting the days go by...

2009-03-22T21:39:00.012-04:00

Have you ever taken stock of you life, like for real? Taken a look at yourself in the mirror, taken a look around your home, your career, your relationships, everything, and wonder how the hell did I get here?

My dad was here this weekend, just briefly came into DC for a convention and came down on Friday night to have dinner and stay the night. He was looking at Q-Tip and asked me how old he was now. I had to think... I got Q-Tip from a friend of my parents' (it's a whole other blog post really). This woman Phyllis who left her two kitties behind (Q-Tip was one, my ex took the other with him), sometime in early 2002. I had just moved in with my ex Alex, to this ridiculous little apartment that we were basically squatting in, and took in Q-Tip and Endo (short for endorphin, which was her full name given by the friend).

Really thinking back to that time in my life, I was 21 and living in Pilsen, going to art school, living with a man-boy with whom I already knew it wasn't going to work. I look at my life right now, I'm 27, living in Fredericksburg, working in Dahlgren for the navy, living with a not-quite-grown-up-man with whom I'm not really sure it's going to work (not that I'm being negative, but if Aaron and I were both really completely sure it was going to work, we'd be married already, and we're not, so obviously we're both a little apprehensive). That 21 y/o me would never have imagined this life. Never in a million years would this have shown up on my radar. Granted I was pretty directionless back then, I really had no clue where I was gonna be. I still feel rather directionless. When I look at what I want for my future, five years from now, I really have no clue where I will be and what I will be doing. I don't really want to be here, doing this.

[random thought] Right now I'm watching Desperate Housewives and I'm looking at Kyle MacLachlan and thinking about how Twin Peaks is a lot like Wysteria Lane.[/random thought]

I feel like I kinda wandered into this spot in life. I'm really not the kind of person who makes plans, or even follows them. I don't feel I've ever really worked hard for something. I don't feel particularly passionate about anything. I sorta almost feel completely numb. Like nothing in particular makes me feel anything in particular. I'm not really happy, but I can't say that I'm exactly unhappy either.

I've probably had more time to myself tonight than I needed. I've been thinking too much. I need a change in my life, but I'm really not sure what that change needs to be. I love Aaron, but sometimes I wonder if he and I have the same goals in life.

My ultimate goal in life would be to actually be HAPPY. I don't know if I will ever know what I really want to do with my life, career-wise, relationship-wise, whatever, until I'm actually truly HAPPY. Not smiling goofy happy, just content, feeling like I have direction and passion, and whatever. But how will I ever feel HAPPY unless I actually have something to feel passionate about, something that makes me feel satisfied?

I'm not really happy at my job. I just don't find it exciting. I don't find it particularly important in any real way. It can definitely be fun sometimes. I have learned a lot since I've been there. I don't really enjoy shooting grip and grins, I don't like paperwork, I don't like archiving things and having to be organized. But when I try and think about what it is I would rather be doing, I'm not really sure. I can't really imagine, right now, a vocation that will truly make me feel important, and stimulated (intellectually), and whatever other emotion you're supposed to feel in regards to your career.

Well whatever it is, I obviously need to shut my brain off right now. I've been thinking too much this evening because I'm home alone and no one is here to distract me. So I will sign off now. Perhaps if I'm not engrossed in ennui tomorrow, I will muster up the energy to dial a phone and speak with a therapist and get started on getting my sh*t together.

This is for Jenn

2009-03-20T09:36:00.002-04:00

I'm writing in here! Look! Here it is, a new post? No one but you is reading this though... so I can say whatever I want! I got a tattoo this week, it still hurts a little bit but it's cute. It's a pink shamrock. Yes pink, not green, cuz that's how I roll.

Also I got a MacBook Pro last night because my boyfriend is trying to bribe me into giving him head. I think I will hold out for an SLR camera though.

I have horrible luck

2009-03-13T09:20:00.002-04:00

So I got into ANOTHER accident on my way into work this morning. :(

I was going into the gate and I decided to get into the right turn lane (There are two right turn lanes to get into "B" gate and the left turn lane is always backed up with a 1000 cars and the right lane is always clear). So I was in the left lane stuck not moving and so I checked my mirror, turned and looked at my blind spot, everything was clear. I didn't see a single car in that lane. Well I went to merge and CRUNCH, I hit somebody.

No one was hurt and there was minimal damage. He has a dent in his fender, and I have some paint transfer on my passenger side back door. Nothing too serious. The state trooper came and he didn't give either one of us the ticket but I'm not sure how that works out with insurance. I really hope this guy doesn't try to get me to pay for this because then my insurance is going to go SKY HIGH, and I really can't afford that. Crappity crap crap.

The only thing that is going to get me through the day is thinking that I might get my wonderful purse today.

New Purse

2009-03-09T08:12:00.003-04:00

Woo hoo! I know it's lame to get excited about a purse, but I am, what can I say?

I bought this little gem from Bolsa Bonita a little lady out in Austin makes all these by hand and they are all so cute!

Life is poo

2009-02-23T10:05:00.002-05:00

It seems like almost everyone i know is feeling crappy lately. I'm gonna blame it on winter. It's almost over, but it still sucks the way it just drags on and on and brings everyone down with it. Come on spring, get here already.

This is that stupid groundhog's fault!

Workout?

2009-02-04T08:46:00.002-05:00

I need to workout, but I am so lazy and unmotivated. I just need to do it, but... but but but. I have a million excuses, and some of them are more valid than others but I still suck and need to just get off my butt and go do it. I have been doing well following the weight watchers plan as far as eating is concerned, but I haven't worked out at all. I suck. Tonight I am gonna hit the treadmill and that's that.

Also, Valentine's Day is coming up, and it happens to fall on a three day weekend, that is so awesome. Aaron and I will have to plan to do something fun.

Now who's the hobag?

2009-02-03T16:56:00.002-05:00

Apparently it's me, because I haven't written here in so long. Problem is my life is boring. I'm on weight watchers AGAIN, my boyfriend and I argue all the time about stupid stuff and I got so drunk this weekend I don't remember most of it, but they tell me I had a really good time.

Back from the brink (of death)!

2009-01-08T09:33:00.002-05:00

Well I got some kinda nasty virus that has been going around. Either I got it from my brother, while I was in Chicago, or I got from some typhoid Mary on the plane ride back, or I got it from Aaron who was sick when I got home. Regardless, I think this virus was trying to kill me. Last night I was soooo sick, I could barely move. Everything was achy, and I had a temperature of 102.4, even though I was shivering all over and sweating like a pig. To make matters worse, my monthly visitor pooped over yesterday too, whatabitch!

Anyway, I took some nyquil last night and fell asleep sometime around 9ish. Sometime during the night my fever broke because I had to take off my fleece sweater that I went to bed in when I was freezing cold. This morning my temp was only 99.1, and I don't feel all the ridiculous aches and pains. I am still stuffed up and have a sore throat, but I feel much better. Woo hoo! Live to fight another day!

Pictures!

2009-01-04T16:56:00.004-05:00

I posted most of the pictures on my facebook book page cuz it's way easier to do it there, but for some reason one of my pictures didn't go up. So here it is!

This is a view of the Chicago skyline from my parents' place on the South Lakeshore. If you want to see the rest of the pictures from my trip go here (hope that works!)

Happy New Year!

2009-01-03T22:03:00.002-05:00

I just got home today from being in Chicago for a week. I was extremely lucky in that neither one of my flights was delayed for any reason and flying in both directions was rather uneventful.

I got to see a lot of old friends and people I haven't seen in a while, which is always awesome! Got to see fireworks on New Years Eve which is the best. Mrs. Butterface and the Sturgeon came out with me on New Year's too and it's insane how easy it is to pick up where you left off with people even if you haven't seen them for a long time. I also finally got to meet the newest member of our family, Adrianna, who is the cutest little thing I've ever seen EVER. Literally. She's such a happy go lucky baby. I went in to her room after her nap and she was sitting up in her crib smiling and when she saw me she clapped her hands and stood up and put her hands up in the air immediately cuz she wanted to be picked up. You don't get much cuter than that.

I got home today around quarter to 5 and Aaron and I ate a bunch of carbs and attempted to watch a movie together except I fell asleep. I'm happy to be home with the boyfriend again even though I really am missing the city now.

I have a bunch of New Year's resolutions this time around but I'm so tired I don't even want to list them right now. Needless to say, 2008 was not a very good year for me. I really don't feel like I accomplished much and I let myself go in a lot of ways. I've got to step it up a notch, and get myself together so I can be a happier and more productive person.

Well that's all I got for now. I will post some pictures soon once I get off my butt and get them on the computer. Ta ta!

Step Brothers

2008-12-22T09:36:00.000-05:00

Stupid movie, REALLY stupid. Like supremely stupid. But I laughed, a lot, so what can I say? The whole point of the movie was to be funny, which it was. I have a sick sense of humor, so what can I say?

OMG

2008-12-11T08:30:00.000-05:00

How cute!!

Bengal Kittens! Want!

New Glasses

2008-11-21T10:07:00.002-05:00

I went for an eye exam yesterday, and just as I suspected my eyes have gotten worse. I'm pretty sure that's why I've had all those horrible headaches lately. I got a neat picture of my retina taken (and seriously I had no idea that's what it looks like!) and I did this little video game thing to test my visual field, and I WON! So anyway, here are my new glasses, I think they are cool and funky, but I might decide to just fork up the money for another pair that aren't so "funky" looking.

WOW, just WOW

2008-11-05T09:11:00.003-05:00

I'm excited. First of all, I'm glad I finally picked a winner. This is only the 3rd election I've ever voted in, and it's the first time the person I voted for actually WON. I'm feeling hopeful right now, and it's a good thing. I know that Obama is not going to be able to live up to all the hype. No one ever does. I refuse to put him up on a pedestal, because he's just a himan being, like anyone else, and the higher up the pedestal you are, the worse it is when you fall. We've got a lot of work to do to fix the problems we're in, and it's going to take a long time. Let me tell you though, in the next 4 years, when I see the president come on the TV to address this country, I'm not just going to flip the channel. That's a good thing.

WTF Mormons?

2008-11-03T18:19:00.002-05:00

Not those guys, but two other Mormons just came to my door to talk about Mormonism or whatever. Thankfully I was cooking a veggie burger on the stove when they came by, so I had the perfect excuse not to talk to them. I hate being rude to people, which definitely makes me a sucker for people peddling shit either at my door or on the phone. I wish I could have told those poor boys that their religion is a cult and a complete JOKE, but oh well... guess they will just have to go on believing in their false religion until they see the light some day.

A friendly reminder

2008-11-02T17:10:00.002-05:00

It wasn't all that long ago that woman-kind fought for the right to vote. There were many women who fought long and hard for us to be able to exercise our right to participate in our own government. Let's not take that for granted and blow it off.

The Horror!

2008-10-28T06:31:00.002-04:00

I had a nightmare that McCain won the election next week! OMG, talk about frightening. Please everyone, vote for Obama.

Hilarious and depressing

2008-10-24T16:59:00.000-04:00

Penny Pinching?

2008-10-11T09:34:00.003-04:00

Do you find yourself cussing when you checkout from the grocery store because what used to cost you $50 now costs you $85 or more? I know I am. I found this neat article listing 20 healthiest foods for under $1 a serving. If you're looking to save money at the grocery store without resorting to eating ramen noodles, check it out. I'll tell you something she didn't mention in there, frozen veggies. They are often cheaper than fresh, but usually are higher in nutrients because they were frozen right after harvest, versus being shipped hundreds of miles. Plus they are already cleaned and chopped for you, so half of your prep work is taken care of. Frozen sliced zucchini and yellow squash is great to stir fry up and mix with garlic and serve with some whole wheat pasta. I like a little bit of pesto sauce, but marinara works well too. Good luck!

For those who have a lot of debt

2008-10-06T21:07:00.003-04:00

Read this

A few years ago I found myself in an enormous amount of debt. Thankfully I got the bank of mom and dad to help me out, but I will never have the option again (not because my parents wouldn't help me out, because they would, but because I have too much pride to have my parents bail me out again). Right now I only have my car loan and student loans to pay off so I'm not doing too badly actually, but I could be paying it off faster. I really wish I had the discipline that this girl had. I have been talking to Aaron about getting rid of the cable TV, but he won't listen. I still say that we don't NEED it. I have cut back on the amount of eating out I do, but we still go out to eat on the weekends a lot. Bottom line is, I could probably do more to get my debts paid off. This article is inspiration for me.

Awwww, the cutest thing in the world

2008-10-06T20:36:00.003-04:00

Yes We Can (hold babies)

It's pictures like these that make me hear a faint ticking of my biological clock.

If you didn't have a reason to be worried before...

2008-10-02T16:21:00.001-04:00

*warning this video is graphic*

Updates

2008-10-02T09:37:00.002-04:00

So, I've decided to get "back on track" so to speak on my weight loss journey. I started posting on my other blog again detailing my ups and downs. Ugh. I've been doing well since I started over again, one week ago! Lol, I have faith that I will keep up with it this time. I had a rude awakening when I stepped on the scale last Friday and saw how much weight I had really put on! Eek, freaky!!!

The new medicine seems to really be helping me out. I feel more clear-headed and somewhat optimistic about life. Although, considering the situation our country is in, I don't know if I really have the right to feel that way. I absolutely DREAD the idea of a McCain/Palin administration, something that unfortunately is not out of the question as of right now. I hope and pray that it doesn't happen, but unfortunately there are people out there who don't see it the way I do. The consequences of McCain being our next president are dire. DIRE. We can not have 4 more years of the same crap that got us into this crazy mess we are in right now.

Ok, went off on a tangent there. I don't think I can clearly express how frightened I am of McCain though. It shakes my bones.

Aaron and I have been discussing moving. Not any time too soon. Probably within the next year or so. Possible we might even move to Chicago, which, even though I hate the winters there, I would love being back in my hometown. Now that I've been away for a few years and have been able to grow up a little, I think I could live there and not fall back into the same self-destructive behaviors I had before I left. Aaron's "baby mama's" (for lack of a better term) husband has a job offer for a place in Illinois somewhere and Aaron would like to be near his son. Who knows, it's still a long way away.

I've been working a lot lately and I really need a vacation, but I'm totally broke because everything is so damn expensive now. I swear $100 worth of groceries used to last a lot longer than it does now. Whatevs, it could be worse I guess.

I say NO to fall

2008-09-18T14:05:00.000-04:00

Everyone seems to be excited about fall, but I'm not. Let me tell you why!

1st of all I have fall allergies which are kicking my ask right now and I hate it. Anti-histamines aren't doing a whole lot for me right now and I'm constantly dealing with a painful sinus headache. Secondly, fall means that it's going to be getting colder, and I hate the cold. Yes yes, I grew up in Chicago and I should be used to it, but I left Chicago. While I miss a lot of things about that wonderful city, the weather is certainly not one of them. Finally I always get a bad case of Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD if you want to be short about it. Fall means the days are getting shorter, and it means that for a lot of the time I will be leaving in the dark and getting home in the dark every single day. Gets me super down I tell ya. I hate it. I think I'm gonna move to Aruba.

Sorry Katherine

2008-09-14T17:05:00.001-04:00

I totally thought Tropic Thunder was hilarious.

OMG I love this

2008-09-07T17:30:00.002-04:00

Apparently this has been all over the interwebs for a while, but this is the first time I've seen it. Hah!

Elephants are f'in cool!

2008-08-28T20:01:00.003-04:00

That is all

Sexy dreams

2008-08-28T16:47:00.004-04:00

I had a sex dream involving Michael Phelps. Even though he looks like a totally goofy gorilla with flipper feet, according to my dreams, he's really good in bed.

Also in the dream - squirrels/lemurs in my parents pear tree eating their pears, a taxi driver who fell asleep at the wheel while driving me to Michael Phelps's house and nearly killing us, and rain coming down from the ceiling in the downstairs bathroom of my parents house. There was way more weird stuff too, I just don't remember it all.

Introducing Adrianna!

2008-08-23T15:28:00.004-04:00

Here she is with her aunt Susan

Here she is with my dad (her great uncle), Jack.

And here she is with her proud mommy, Lynn.

They all went to the zoo today, I'm totally jealous.

Hilarious

2008-08-18T19:02:00.001-04:00

Bulgarian "Music Idol"

Annoucing

2008-08-17T19:02:00.001-04:00

I have a new cousin (first-cousin-once-removed)! My cousin Lynn brought home the lovely Adrianna a couple days ago from Guatemala. Perfect excuse for me to go home and visit. Will post pictures as soon as they are sent to me.

Question

2008-08-17T16:28:00.001-04:00

Should I dye my hair brown? Would that look totally weird?

It's been a little over 2 weeks

2008-08-17T10:31:00.002-04:00

Since I started taking this new medicine, and I do feel slightly better. It's subtle, but I can tell that I have a little more energy than I did before and I'm not feeling completely numb anymore. I still have a ways to go, obviously. I know the medicine doesn't cure everything, but it does help to just take the edge off (so to speak) so I can do what I need to do to make myself happy.

Dinah blow your horn!

2008-08-04T20:53:00.002-04:00

I have this song stuck in my head for some reason. Pretty lame if you ask me. Aaron says it's about someone getting blown up with dynamite, but I say it's about sex. Perhaps it's sex and dynamite? KaPOW!

p.s. yes I know I'm a total dork

A step in the right direction

2008-08-01T15:19:00.001-04:00

I hope. I went to the doctor today, he sent me home with a prescription for anti-depressants. I hope they help.

Help me OVBC members

2008-07-23T19:22:00.002-04:00

For some reason I had a flashback of a scene from a novel I read some time ago, but I can't remember where it's from. It involves a man, a father, who gets a phone call late at night from a little boy who thinks he's calling a radio station. The man answers the phone and pretends to be from the radio station and tells the boy that he won the contest and his prize is free oranges. The next day the man takes the oranges to the little boys house. I'm a little fuzzy on what happens next, I know that the little boys mom comes home and the man goes into her house and bla bla bla. The man is not a pedophile or anything, he just really wanted to do something nice for someone. Man I really can NOT remember where this came from. I really hope that I'm not making it up completely.

Anybody have any idea what book this is from?

I love these

2008-07-16T19:07:00.000-04:00

Yay!

2008-07-14T17:19:00.002-04:00

I just picked up my car from the shop! You can't even tell it was ever in an accident, it looks so purdy.

Another year older

2008-07-09T18:19:00.002-04:00

Not to sound morose or anything, but I think this is going to probably be the most depressing birthday I've had since my 15th, where I spent almost that whole summer crying by myself in my bedroom. I'm not gonna do that this year, but I feel just as lost and confused. Must be this quarter-life crisis everyone is always going on about. There's no real reason for me to be depressed, I have a decent job, I have a boyfriend who loves me, I have family and friends who love me, but I just feel directionless and joyless. Don't know what I want to do with my life, and I feel like I have to make up my mind soon because I'm getting to that point where it's not OK to just be an aimless 20something.

I've been thinking of going back to school and going for a complete career change. I have been thinking about going to nursing school. I think it would be something that I would be really good at, since I'm really good with people, I'm caring and patient and cool in a crisis. But then I think about the fact that I'm going to have to take math and chemistry and I get a little nervous. I think about the fact that nurses have to see some really depressing shit all the time and I wonder if my tender heart can take it.

I really have a need to help people and I don't feel like the job I'm doing now is what I want to do with the rest of my life. So I don't know...

I wanted to have a little birthday celebration, but to be honest I'm just not in the mood.

Little Jetta Blue

2008-07-09T08:26:00.000-04:00

My car is still in the shop, it's been a little over 2 weeks since I had my accident :( I talked to my damage adjuster yesterday and they are still waiting on some part to come in and it could be the end of the week when my car is ready for me to go and pick up. I so want my car back, I miss it. I've been driving around a rental Rav4 and I can't wait to turn that gas hog back in you have no idea. I was hoping that it would be ready by tomorrow, it would be a great birthday present, but *sigh*, it's not in the stars for me.

So cheesy!

2008-07-03T19:57:00.001-04:00

But also super cute!

Very frustrating!!!

2008-07-02T21:11:00.002-04:00

So I've been perusing this website www.80stees.com and they have some totally awesome t-shirts there. Like this one:Ya know, like my ultimate favorite childhood cartoon. Only the sizes totally suck. You see because a "ladies" extra large shirt is the same size as the "Adult" size small, which is too small for me. Because ladies who would be interested in a Strawberry Shortcake t-shirt are not adults, so they don't need adult sizes. Bastards.

Want want want!

2008-06-29T21:43:00.002-04:00

German Shepherd Puppies!!! OMG!!!

Whoa

2008-06-29T21:25:00.000-04:00

Weird. My birthday is about 10 days away. I'll be 27 years old. Scary dude. Quarter-life crisis, here I come!

A survey in pictures

2008-06-22T20:17:00.024-04:00

This is called a Google image meme - and I tag anyone reading this blog to do it too! The rules are, answer each question, plug your answer into google image search and pick a picture from the first page of your search results. No cheating!

Age on your next birthday:

A place you'd like to visit:

Your favorite place:

Your favorite object:

Your favorite food:

Your favorite animal:

Your favorite color:

Town where you were born:

Town where you live now:

Name of a past pet:

Name of a past love:

Best friend's nickname:

Your screen name:

Your first name:

Your middle name:

Your last name:

Bad habit of yours:

Your first job:

Name of grandmother:

College/grad major:

Hulk SMASH!

2008-06-22T18:11:00.004-04:00

Edward Norton is my one and only true boyfriend, so of course I liked the movie. Even though it was a little silly. Even though Liv Tyler was HORRIBLE. Still worth it to go see this movie just to see my boyfriend nearly naked several times.

OMG! OMG! OMG!!!

2008-06-21T17:48:00.002-04:00

Baby Red Pandas!

Frowny Face :(

2008-06-21T15:41:00.004-04:00

You can see my bumper on the ground behind the car there. Got into this accident while trying to make a left turn onto Bragg Rd. from the Giant parking lot on Rt. 3. No one was hurt, thankfully, and insurance is going to cover everything. Sad day for my little Jetta, but it will get fixed and look like new once everything is all said and done.

Gonna have to give a shout out to Jenn who woke up from her Saturday afternoon nap to come and pick up Aaron and me and take us to the safety and comfort of home. Thanks!

Pad Thai Cindy

2008-06-17T17:40:00.002-04:00

This isn't an "authentic" recipe, but it's damn good if you ask me (you can ask Jenn too, since she ate it once)

Pad Thai

For the sauce, 1 quart sauce pan put:

3 Tbs brown sugar
1 Tbs rice wine vinegar
3 Tbs lime juice
4 Tbs soy sauce
1 Tbs hot anything (dried chopped red pepper, jalepenos, chili paste, whatevs)
1 Cup vegetable broth
3 Tbs peanut butter

bring to a boil, add hot oil, set aside

The rest:

Chop an variety of vegetables: broccoli, green onions, green bells,
red bells, yellow bells, etc etc
saute so they are wilted
add your sauce
Boil rice noodles
Throw it all together.

I like to add tofu to this recipe too, although I'm sure some sort of dead animal flesh would taste good too (if you're into that kinda thing :)

This weekend

2008-06-15T18:34:00.003-04:00

Was prtty lazy if I do say so myself. Friday night I did NOTHING, all by myself. Saturday night Aaron and I spent the night at his parents house AGAIN because they were out of town AGAIN and needed us to watch the dogs AGAIN. So we watched some movies together. Aaron's such a good sport. He watched P.S. I Love You with me, and he even liked it somewhat and only made fun of me a little bit for crying every 15 minutes. What a nice boyfriend I have.

Birthday Wish-List

2008-06-12T11:12:00.000-04:00

So far, I want new furniture, all over my apartment! I hate everything we have, but I also have to be cheap about this. So first things first, I want this baker's rack to replace the cheap-ass computer desk that we are currently using as a microwave stand.

I also want a new microwave, one that's not MASSIVE and possibly uses less electricity.

Also I want new bookshelves and to get rid of the dining room hutch that is in the living room and only collects mail and other junk we throw on it.

New couches, PLEASE PLEASE I need new couches. Of course with new couches comes the need for new coffee/ end tables. If only I were insanely rich, I could get a whole new house!

I will be registering at Target for my birthday, not that I expect anybody to buy me anything.

Vegetarian Nightmare

2008-06-11T08:07:00.000-04:00

That's about the only way I can describe the "dream" I had this morning before punching the snooze button for the 30th time.

All of my friends wanted to go out to eat at this one particular restaurant. It's like a steakhouse, but intead of bovine steaks they served human steaks. First thing is everyone is standing outside while a man grabs 1/2 a human female carcass (similar to a hanging 1/2 bovine carcass) and proceeds to chop it up into flanks, etc. Of course I'm freaking out because that's disgusting and wrong and gross and what have you, and everyone is ignoring me. Then the realization comes to me that all these people being served up for dinner were probably murdered, because no one would serve the meat of an animal that died of natural causes right? So I start freaking out even more and everyone then just starts to make fun of me for being a squemish vegetarian and not being "adventurous" enough to even try something new, etc. etc., and then waving their human burgers under my face and laughing.

OMG, it was horrible.

This just makes me smile

2008-06-04T18:52:00.000-04:00

I really am a klutz

2008-06-04T08:47:00.002-04:00

I fell down my outside steps this morning going to the car. I had a whole bunch of stuff in my hands, and I was grabbing for my keys and when I turned my heel was right at the edge of the step. I slipped and twisted it and fell right on my bum! It's good thing I have so much padding back there.

New Blog and a New New Recipe!

2008-06-02T17:55:00.003-04:00

So I started a "weight loss" blog, you can visit it here

I've been annoyed with myself for not sticking to it better about being healthier and losing the last 30 lbs that I want to lose. So the new blog is meant for me to talk about the struggles I've been having and also talk about some of the successes I hope to have. So there ya go, go ahead and read if you want!

Also, a new recipe which I have to say is one of my FAVORITES that I've made in a while. Even though it's healthy and fairly low-cal, the delicious-ness of this recipe make it DANGEROUS!

Tabbouleh with Mint and Pistachios

1/4 cup fine bulgur
3 Tbs. lemon juice
1/4 tsp. honey
1 1/3 cup finely chopped pistachios
1 cup finely chopped curly parsley
1 small cucumber, finely chopped (1 cup)
1 medium tomato, finely chopped (1/3 cup)
4 green onions, finely chopped (1/3 cup)
1/3 cup finely chopped fresh mint
3 Tbs. olive oil

Place bulgur in large bowl and add 1/3 cup boiling water. Let stand 5 minutes. Stir in lemon juice and honey, and let stand 5 minutes more, or until all liquid is absorbed. Fluff bulgur with fork, and stir in remaining ingredients. Season with salt and pepper. Serves 6.

Nutritional Information

Per SERVING:

Calories	137
Protein	3g
Total fat	10.5g
Carbs	10g
Cholesterol	0mg
Sodium	107mg
Fiber	3g
Sugars	2g

This recipe was in my April issue of Vegetarian Times magazine, which is AWESOME. Although I have to tell anyone trying the make this that it takes a while for the bulgar to absorb all the liquid and I would suggest putting a large plate over the bowl to let it steam and keep the heat in.

Recipe Time!

2008-06-01T20:36:00.002-04:00

This recipe got me through the broke years while I was in college a living with my broke-ass ex-boyfriend (he was my boyfriend at the time though).

Super Quick & Easy Beans & Rice

3 cups white rice (standard rice cooking technique: 1 part rice to 2 parts water, or if you want to get fancy, you can add a boullion cube to it for extra flavor)
2 cans of beans (any kind really, I prefer one can pinto, one can black) drain and rinse
1 can of corn
1 16oz jar salsa (I prefer Pace, although any brand will do)

Mix it all together and you have dinner for yourself all week long. The ingredients on this list are probably less than $10 depending on the brands of things you end up buying. It's super filling, and nutritious as well.

This is a fallback recipe for me whenever I'm running low on cash, or whenever I'm in the mood for comfort food. Hope you all enjoy!

Backsliding

2008-05-30T08:36:00.002-04:00

For some reason I just can't seem to stay focused on eating right and losing weight. I will do well for one month and lose 5 pounds, then do terrible the next month and gain it all back. I guess it's good that I'm at least "maintaining", but I don't want to maintain, I want to lose. Specifically I want to lose 10 pounds by my birthday, which is July 10th, I'm not sure if that's a reasonable goal or not though. It's about 6 weeks away, so as long as I stay on track, I'm sure I can do it. Really the most important thing I need to do I guess, is step it up in the exercise department. I think I will try to take up jogging. Anyone want to join me?

Survey schmurvey

2008-05-23T20:57:00.002-04:00

A. Attached or Single - attached
B. Best Friend(s) - Aaron
C. Cake or Pie - Pie
D. Day of Choice - Friday
E. Essential Item - chapstick
F. Flavor of Ice Cream - Haagen Daaz Extra Rich Caramel Cone
G. Gummy Bears or Worms - sour patch kids
H. Hometown - Chicago, Illinois
I. Indulgences - laziness
J. January or July- July (my birthday month!)
K. Kids - Q-Tip & Javier, and psuedo stepson Ezra
L. Last movie I saw in a theater - Iron Man
(M is Missing in Action)
N. Number of siblings - brother
O. Oranges or Apples - both, depending on the season
P. Phobias or Fears - heights
Q. Quote - "Who Would Jesus Bomb?"
R. Reasons to smile - Anything
S. Season - Summer
T. Tag 4 - I have no one to tag but Jenn
U. Unknown fact about me - It's so unknown, I don't even know it
V. Vegetarian or oppressor of Animals - vegetarian, duh
W. Worst Habit - binge eating, and constant self doubt
X. X-rays or Ultrasounds - Ultrasounds are pretty rad
Y. Your favorite Food - Mexican or Thai
Z. Zodiac - Cancer

Mystery Solved

2008-05-22T11:08:00.000-04:00

So I figured out where the nearly $100 went. I pre-ordered the WiiFit from Amazon, and they finally charged me for it. I thought I was charged for it when I first ordered it, like 2-3 weeks ago. Phew! Thank goodness it wasn't a frugal identity theif!

This is for Olivia!

2008-05-21T05:17:00.002-04:00

Sorry it took me so long to post this! It's such a cute picture though!

Where does it all go?

2008-05-20T14:50:00.001-04:00

I looked at my bank account online just a few minutes ago, and I seriously can not recall where at least $100 went this weekend. I have racked my brain, and I just can't figure it out. It obviously was not that exciting, whatever it was.

What Else Could a Woman Possbily Need?

2008-05-14T21:14:00.000-04:00

New Car!

2008-05-10T19:05:00.005-04:00

2006 Volkswagen Jetta!

I know that it's completely NOT a Honda Fit, which is what I had in mind when Aaron and I set out this morning. We went to Pohanka Honda first, and they have ZERO Honda Fits on their lot, and none of the Honda dealerships within 75 miles have them either. They are very popular. So we decided to go see what was at Carmax. I test drove a Ford Focus, and it was alright, but I wasn't super excited about everything. Then I test drove a Toyota Corolla, and I liked it better than the Focus, but still not totally happy. It didn't have cruise control, which is a biggie for me because when I go to work I usually use cruise control for about 75% of my trip. The salesman then suggested I consider a Jetta. I went to the bathroom after the second test drive and salesman and Aaron looked at Jettas. When I came out Aaron pointed me to that beautiful beast you see above. It is a smooth ride, it has "leatherette" seats, and a kickin sound system. I honestly feel like I'm driving a luxury vehicle. It was a little above the price range I was looking at, but honestly, I'm pretty happy about my decision. Plus, it has this really awesomely cute little detail in the headlights:

It's the VW logo, OMG, so cute!

Coincidence?

2008-05-09T23:55:00.001-04:00

Aaron told me tonight that his parents' dog, Jackson, has had the same stomach issues all week that I've had. We dog-sat for his parents over the weekend. Hmmm...

It's time...

2008-05-09T11:26:00.002-04:00

For a new car. My POS Dodge failed inspection, and it will cost me somewhere close to $700 to fix it. Not worth it, IMO. My grandfather bought that car for me from his friend for about $1,000, 3 years ago. I think I've got my money's worth from it. I'm gonna go out this weekend and look for a new/used car. I'm thinking a Honda, probably a Civic or a Fit. I'm excited, and nervous about it at the same time.

My Mother, the Public Health Nurse

2008-05-08T19:18:00.003-04:00

She called me this afternoon and I thought I would mention to her that I have been having nausea, vomiting and the big D since Tuesday. You know what she suggested it might be? Noro Virus, that virus that you here about spreading around cruise ships. I swear, she has turned me into a hypochondriac.

Yuck

2008-05-06T09:54:00.004-04:00

I think I have a mild case of food poisoning :( My stomach is all screwy and I just want to lie down, but I'm at work and they kinda frown on that sort of thing here. The really obnoxious thing is that I really feel like I have to puke, but I can't, and I also can't MAKE myself puke, so I'm just gonna have to ride this one out.

Wiiiiiiii!

2008-05-04T13:58:00.004-04:00

Aaron bought us a Wii the other day, and seriously, it's super fun! I'm not into video games at all, usually I just get frustrated cuz I can't figure out all the buttons and shit, but the Wii is super easy, even if you suck. My arms are super sore from playing boxing and tennis and baseball. And I pre-ordered the WiiFit, cuz I'm a dork.

People are weird

2008-04-30T12:35:00.002-04:00

Someone just told me that I had too many vowels in my last name. Crazy people. 3 vowels, and sometimes y. My name is still pretty Anglo if you ask me.

Today is a weird day

2008-04-30T09:51:00.000-04:00

I was having a weird dream this morning that today was Friday, imagine how horrible I felt when I found out it was only Wednesday. Hump Day.

To those of you who have been in Fred for a long time...

2008-04-29T19:56:00.002-04:00

I need to find a GOOD primary care physician. I want someone who will actually sit and LISTEN to me and talk with me and not just try to shuffle me out the as quickly as possible. I had a good doctor who has retired, and his replacement was not someone I actually want to ever see again. She didn't listen to anything I had to say and pretty much pushed me out the door with both hands. So, if any of you have a doc that you like, and feel comfortable recommending, please...

Time goes by fast

2008-04-29T10:24:00.001-04:00

For real, it's almost MAY people. That's month number 5! It feels like just yesterday it was New Year's! WTH???

Surveys are for losers!

2008-04-25T09:56:00.007-04:00

I stole this from Jenn, who stole it from Dark Fury!

1. Your middle name? Louise, so Cindy Lou is not just a cute nickname, it really is my name

2. Your favorite color? Blood Red

3. Your birth month? July

4. Do you think everyone should act their age? Depends on their age

5. Would you rather live in a mansion or cottage? A townhouse in a big city

6. Is your home perfectly spotless or lived in? Lived in, by several people before us

7. Do you love your life? Sometimes

8. Do you want kids? Yes

9. Are you in a relationship? Yes, with a sometimes wonderful manboy

10. Do you have a soul mate? Better question, do I have a soul?

11. City life or country life? City

12. Sports or theater? Theater, I always go see a show when I go home to visit.

13. Books or movies? I like them both

14. Poetry or Music? Music

15. Dinners out or at home? I honestly think that I can get a better, more satisfying meal at home than I can at a restaurant, although it is nice to go out sometimes

16. Romantic is a walk in the woods or on the beach? I think walking can be romantic no matter where you are, just the act of being next to each other and talking and holding hands and enjoying each others company without having to spend any money.

17. Home in the Mountains or on the Beach? Beach, the mountains are too dangerous, that's where snow leopards live

18. Mornings or nights? Evenings

19. Is the glass half full or half empty? The glass is just too large for the amount of liquid that it is holding.

20. Coffee or tea? Coffee

21. Beer or Soda? Sody

22. An energy drink or juice? Water thank you

23. Are you the Driver or passenger? Passenger

24. Are you the Leader or follower? The one hangin at the back being super slow

25. Are you pessimistic or optimistic? Realistic

26. Save the Whales or Save the Rainforest? Why do I have to choose, they both deserve saving.

27. If given the option, would you give money or food? Depends on who is asking and why.

28. Would you give someone a second chance? I've given more than just second chances to some people, and I will continue to forgive the people I love when they fuck up, because I would hope they would do the same for me.

29. What’s the hardest thing for you to give? I can't give up a grudge, I can carry it around for years.

30. Why?
Probably because I'm a cancer, although that's most likely a copout. I'm a very sensitive person, and easily hurt.

31. Honesty even if it hurts or a white lie to make them feel better? White lie, always, I'm a wimp.

32. What’s the one thing that really sets you off? Arrogance

33. Tough love or forgiveness? Both

34. One for all or All for one? Depends on the situation

35. What’s your top regret? Not having the self esteem to get out a bad relationship before it actually did long term damage to my fragile psyche

36. What’s the one thing you would change about your life? There's more than just one thing I would change

37. What’s the one thing you would like people to know about yourself? I would do anything for my friends

38. What’s one thing you would change about yourself? I would be less lazy

39. What do you think of the phrase "Good Intentions"? The road to hell

40. Do you believe in love? Of course I do

41. Can love die? OMG yes, it can die a slow horrible death too

42. Is love blind? Love itself isn't blind, but it can make you blind

43. Whats the one thing you could never forgive? I can probably forgive anything if the person is worth it.

44. Do you believe in second chances? This question has been asked and answered.

Hey Katherine!

2008-04-22T18:23:00.001-04:00

Question for you, since you are expert in all things related to beauty products. What product can I use to make my hair look shiny that won't also make my hair feel greasy and weighed down?

I have fine hair and so I normally use a volumizing shampoo/conditioner and then volumizing mousse and blow dry, but sometimes I feel like my hair just looks kinda dull. So I would like to be able to make it look shiny and bouncy and volumonous.

Tagged!

2008-04-21T11:16:00.001-04:00

So Katherine tagged me and I will oblige her and anyone else reading my blog with my 6 unspectacular quirks:

1. I have one ridiculously weird long hair that grows on my right big toe, that every once in a while I will see it and pluck it out.

2. When I was little I would eat jalepeno peppers straight out of the jar, and sometimes I still do.

3. A while ago I bought an arm band for my ipod to use while I am working out, but so far I have only used it when I am cleaning.

4. I'm extremely jumpy, and Aaron find it hilarious to sneak up behind and me yell "Cindy!" and watch me jump 35 feet in the air and scream like the busty blond girl in the horror movies, and then he laughs hysterically for 15 minutes straight. My old boss used to do that too.

5. I read books while the TV is on

6. I'm write with my left hand, and eat with my left hand, but I throw a ball with my right hand, but for everything else I can use either hand.

That's it, are you guys as un-impressed as I am?

In desperate need...

2008-04-18T08:13:00.002-04:00

Of a haircut. Earlier this week this lady said to me, "Wow your hair is getting long, it looks cute, but I like it better when you cut it like this (and she was motioning with her hands around her chin, showing the length she would prefer my hair to be.)" I'm positive she was just basically telling me "Cut your hair, hippy."

I also need a queen or king sized mattress, because Aaron and I sharing a full size mattress with two fattass cats just isn't working for me anymore, I always wake up squished to the side of the bed almost falling off.

Also, I need a cat who doesn't drop nuclear weapons of mass stinkdom in the litterbox in the morning so I wake up to most nauseating stink in the whole world. GOODNESS! I think something crawled up his butt and died.

More money is also needed, thank you very much.

It's Thursday!

2008-04-17T07:22:00.001-04:00

That means tomorrow is Friday, which is basically the weekend! Hooray!

Daily Horoscope for Cancer

2008-04-11T10:48:00.000-04:00

With the powerful Moon back in your sign, it's difficult for you to have certainty about your feelings because your moods can shift from one moment to the next. You may want to pour out your heart to a friend or lover and yet minutes later withdraw into the safety of your secret cave. Don't make any long-lasting decisions until your emotions have settled down.

Interesting

I always find it fascinating when my horoscope is right on, like synchronicity or something.

Wasp Sting

2008-04-10T18:59:00.002-04:00

Try saying that 5 times fast!

There is a wasp in that little space between the regular window and the storm window. I don't know how it got there, but it's just walking up and down and back and forth looking for a way out, but there is none. I kinda feel bad for it, because it's just going to die in there, but at the same time, if I open the window and the storm window to make a space for it, I run the risk of getting myself stung and possibly letting it lose into the apartment which puts the cats at risk of being stung too. So basically, I'm killing the wasp, and I feel kinda bad about it.

5 years is a good long time

2008-04-09T21:54:00.001-04:00

My mom just called me to let me know that she just had her five-year cancer screening and everything is clear which puts her in the "cured" category. Woo-Hoo, everyone break out your noise makers and party hats!

Ask and ye shall receive

2008-04-09T21:47:00.002-04:00

Banana Ginger Muffins

2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 tbsp baking powder
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup crystallized ginger
2 large mashed up over-ripe bananas
2 eggs
6 tbsp unsalted butter
3/4 cup 2% milk

Preheat Oven to 400 degrees
In large bowl thoroughly whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, salt , and ginger
Whisk the eggs is a small bowl. Whisk in the mashed banana, butter, and milk until thoroughly combined. Scrape this mixture into the flour mixture and whisk just until evenly moistened. Don not over-beat. Spoon the mixture into the prepared muffin pan. It will reach the top of each cup.
Bake 18 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center of a muffin comes out dry. Remove the muffins from the pan and let cool on a wire rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Banana Ginger Muffins

2008-04-08T20:34:00.001-04:00

I was bad and didn't eat my bananas! So when life gives you nearly black bananas, you make banana bread, or since banana bread is so boring, I made banana ginger muffins. They are so yum yum yummy!

Totally Weird

2008-04-04T08:03:00.000-04:00

I had a dream just before waking up that I was a nurse in a refugee camp in Africa somewhere and all the little kids were sick with cholera and dying and we all had to evacuate and there was nothing anyone could do to save them. It was very sad, I don't where all that came from. :(

Apparently...

2008-04-03T20:45:00.003-04:00

My ex-boyfriend is "totally pissed" at me for something, don't really know what, but I'm supposed to call him. Like that's gonna happen. Why would I call someone just to have an argument with them? Especially when we broke up FOUR YEARS AGO, that's about six months longer than we were actually together. Tell me why? Morbid curiosity would be the only reason, and even that isn't strong enough right now.

OooooOOooo, I hope it rains today

2008-04-03T09:09:00.001-04:00

That would be so awesome, I love the rain.

Monday Morning

2008-03-31T11:35:00.000-04:00

So today is my third anniversary with Aaron, awww, isn't that sweet? I'm at work today, and there is NOTHING going on at all, the test that we were supposed to do today got cancelled because there was low visibility on the river, so we're sitting around twiddling our thumbs. Today Aaron is also getting his tonsils removed, poor guy. He's out of surgery by now, and probably feeling pretty groggy. Tonight he's probably gonna sleep all night long, but I have to stay home with him anyway just in case he gets really sick or something. So yay, excitement all around.