So one of Aaron's coworkers has a boxer.
Who got it on with a german shepherd
And I totally want to get in on that action.
And I totally want to get in on that action.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Letting the days go by...
Have you ever taken stock of you life, like for real? Taken a look at yourself in the mirror, taken a look around your home, your career, your relationships, everything, and wonder how the hell did I get here?
My dad was here this weekend, just briefly came into DC for a convention and came down on Friday night to have dinner and stay the night. He was looking at Q-Tip and asked me how old he was now. I had to think... I got Q-Tip from a friend of my parents' (it's a whole other blog post really). This woman Phyllis who left her two kitties behind (Q-Tip was one, my ex took the other with him), sometime in early 2002. I had just moved in with my ex Alex, to this ridiculous little apartment that we were basically squatting in, and took in Q-Tip and Endo (short for endorphin, which was her full name given by the friend).
Really thinking back to that time in my life, I was 21 and living in Pilsen, going to art school, living with a man-boy with whom I already knew it wasn't going to work. I look at my life right now, I'm 27, living in Fredericksburg, working in Dahlgren for the navy, living with a not-quite-grown-up-man with whom I'm not really sure it's going to work (not that I'm being negative, but if Aaron and I were both really completely sure it was going to work, we'd be married already, and we're not, so obviously we're both a little apprehensive). That 21 y/o me would never have imagined this life. Never in a million years would this have shown up on my radar. Granted I was pretty directionless back then, I really had no clue where I was gonna be. I still feel rather directionless. When I look at what I want for my future, five years from now, I really have no clue where I will be and what I will be doing. I don't really want to be here, doing this.
[random thought] Right now I'm watching Desperate Housewives and I'm looking at Kyle MacLachlan and thinking about how Twin Peaks is a lot like Wysteria Lane.[/random thought]
I feel like I kinda wandered into this spot in life. I'm really not the kind of person who makes plans, or even follows them. I don't feel I've ever really worked hard for something. I don't feel particularly passionate about anything. I sorta almost feel completely numb. Like nothing in particular makes me feel anything in particular. I'm not really happy, but I can't say that I'm exactly unhappy either.
I've probably had more time to myself tonight than I needed. I've been thinking too much. I need a change in my life, but I'm really not sure what that change needs to be. I love Aaron, but sometimes I wonder if he and I have the same goals in life.
My ultimate goal in life would be to actually be HAPPY. I don't know if I will ever know what I really want to do with my life, career-wise, relationship-wise, whatever, until I'm actually truly HAPPY. Not smiling goofy happy, just content, feeling like I have direction and passion, and whatever. But how will I ever feel HAPPY unless I actually have something to feel passionate about, something that makes me feel satisfied?
I'm not really happy at my job. I just don't find it exciting. I don't find it particularly important in any real way. It can definitely be fun sometimes. I have learned a lot since I've been there. I don't really enjoy shooting grip and grins, I don't like paperwork, I don't like archiving things and having to be organized. But when I try and think about what it is I would rather be doing, I'm not really sure. I can't really imagine, right now, a vocation that will truly make me feel important, and stimulated (intellectually), and whatever other emotion you're supposed to feel in regards to your career.
Well whatever it is, I obviously need to shut my brain off right now. I've been thinking too much this evening because I'm home alone and no one is here to distract me. So I will sign off now. Perhaps if I'm not engrossed in ennui tomorrow, I will muster up the energy to dial a phone and speak with a therapist and get started on getting my sh*t together.
My dad was here this weekend, just briefly came into DC for a convention and came down on Friday night to have dinner and stay the night. He was looking at Q-Tip and asked me how old he was now. I had to think... I got Q-Tip from a friend of my parents' (it's a whole other blog post really). This woman Phyllis who left her two kitties behind (Q-Tip was one, my ex took the other with him), sometime in early 2002. I had just moved in with my ex Alex, to this ridiculous little apartment that we were basically squatting in, and took in Q-Tip and Endo (short for endorphin, which was her full name given by the friend).
Really thinking back to that time in my life, I was 21 and living in Pilsen, going to art school, living with a man-boy with whom I already knew it wasn't going to work. I look at my life right now, I'm 27, living in Fredericksburg, working in Dahlgren for the navy, living with a not-quite-grown-up-man with whom I'm not really sure it's going to work (not that I'm being negative, but if Aaron and I were both really completely sure it was going to work, we'd be married already, and we're not, so obviously we're both a little apprehensive). That 21 y/o me would never have imagined this life. Never in a million years would this have shown up on my radar. Granted I was pretty directionless back then, I really had no clue where I was gonna be. I still feel rather directionless. When I look at what I want for my future, five years from now, I really have no clue where I will be and what I will be doing. I don't really want to be here, doing this.
[random thought] Right now I'm watching Desperate Housewives and I'm looking at Kyle MacLachlan and thinking about how Twin Peaks is a lot like Wysteria Lane.[/random thought]
I feel like I kinda wandered into this spot in life. I'm really not the kind of person who makes plans, or even follows them. I don't feel I've ever really worked hard for something. I don't feel particularly passionate about anything. I sorta almost feel completely numb. Like nothing in particular makes me feel anything in particular. I'm not really happy, but I can't say that I'm exactly unhappy either.
I've probably had more time to myself tonight than I needed. I've been thinking too much. I need a change in my life, but I'm really not sure what that change needs to be. I love Aaron, but sometimes I wonder if he and I have the same goals in life.
My ultimate goal in life would be to actually be HAPPY. I don't know if I will ever know what I really want to do with my life, career-wise, relationship-wise, whatever, until I'm actually truly HAPPY. Not smiling goofy happy, just content, feeling like I have direction and passion, and whatever. But how will I ever feel HAPPY unless I actually have something to feel passionate about, something that makes me feel satisfied?
I'm not really happy at my job. I just don't find it exciting. I don't find it particularly important in any real way. It can definitely be fun sometimes. I have learned a lot since I've been there. I don't really enjoy shooting grip and grins, I don't like paperwork, I don't like archiving things and having to be organized. But when I try and think about what it is I would rather be doing, I'm not really sure. I can't really imagine, right now, a vocation that will truly make me feel important, and stimulated (intellectually), and whatever other emotion you're supposed to feel in regards to your career.
Well whatever it is, I obviously need to shut my brain off right now. I've been thinking too much this evening because I'm home alone and no one is here to distract me. So I will sign off now. Perhaps if I'm not engrossed in ennui tomorrow, I will muster up the energy to dial a phone and speak with a therapist and get started on getting my sh*t together.
Friday, March 20, 2009
This is for Jenn
I'm writing in here! Look! Here it is, a new post? No one but you is reading this though... so I can say whatever I want! I got a tattoo this week, it still hurts a little bit but it's cute. It's a pink shamrock. Yes pink, not green, cuz that's how I roll.
Also I got a MacBook Pro last night because my boyfriend is trying to bribe me into giving him head. I think I will hold out for an SLR camera though.
Also I got a MacBook Pro last night because my boyfriend is trying to bribe me into giving him head. I think I will hold out for an SLR camera though.
Friday, March 13, 2009
I have horrible luck
So I got into ANOTHER accident on my way into work this morning. :(
I was going into the gate and I decided to get into the right turn lane (There are two right turn lanes to get into "B" gate and the left turn lane is always backed up with a 1000 cars and the right lane is always clear). So I was in the left lane stuck not moving and so I checked my mirror, turned and looked at my blind spot, everything was clear. I didn't see a single car in that lane. Well I went to merge and CRUNCH, I hit somebody.
No one was hurt and there was minimal damage. He has a dent in his fender, and I have some paint transfer on my passenger side back door. Nothing too serious. The state trooper came and he didn't give either one of us the ticket but I'm not sure how that works out with insurance. I really hope this guy doesn't try to get me to pay for this because then my insurance is going to go SKY HIGH, and I really can't afford that. Crappity crap crap.
The only thing that is going to get me through the day is thinking that I might get my wonderful purse today.
I was going into the gate and I decided to get into the right turn lane (There are two right turn lanes to get into "B" gate and the left turn lane is always backed up with a 1000 cars and the right lane is always clear). So I was in the left lane stuck not moving and so I checked my mirror, turned and looked at my blind spot, everything was clear. I didn't see a single car in that lane. Well I went to merge and CRUNCH, I hit somebody.
No one was hurt and there was minimal damage. He has a dent in his fender, and I have some paint transfer on my passenger side back door. Nothing too serious. The state trooper came and he didn't give either one of us the ticket but I'm not sure how that works out with insurance. I really hope this guy doesn't try to get me to pay for this because then my insurance is going to go SKY HIGH, and I really can't afford that. Crappity crap crap.
The only thing that is going to get me through the day is thinking that I might get my wonderful purse today.
Monday, March 9, 2009
New Purse
Woo hoo! I know it's lame to get excited about a purse, but I am, what can I say?
I bought this little gem from Bolsa Bonita a little lady out in Austin makes all these by hand and they are all so cute!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
