So tired... want sleep

I'm so sick of working these long hours I'm going to shoot someone. I can't wait for this test to be over with and I can go back to my normal hours. I've been working from 6:30am to about 6pm everyday for the last 2.5 weeks. (Although we did get out at normal times a couple days last week because of the rain). I'm just cranky, I've been eating stupid junk food because it's there in front my face, I'm bored and I'm tired so I need the sugar. I haven't stepped on the scale in a while, but I'm pretty sure I've put on a couple pounds. I've been so off track on the weight watchers for the last 3 months basically. I haven't been tracking like I should and I've been "cheating" nearly everyday. I don't know what I need to do to get my motivation back. I want to lose at least another 15 more pounds, if not another 30. Darn it.

This cat and I are on the same page

So it starts again

It's the end of my cycle and I should be getting my period soon and I'm feeling like poop on a platter. Yesterday I fell asleep on the couch at about 5:15 and slept until 9:30. Then I was up for a couple hours and feeling icky and I whined and cried to Aaron about stupid stuff, and then we had an argument about the dishes. Then I fell asleep again from 11:30 until 6am this morning. The night before it was the same thing, sleep from 5:30 until 9:30, then sleep again from 11 to 6am. Feeling sluggish and icky. I don't know if those are symptoms of PMDD, or if I'm just totally worn out and tired from the long stressful hours I'm pulling at work. I just want 3 straight days off I think so I can recoup. Not going to happen though. I'm working 12 hrs. this coming up Saturday :(

Monster Zit From Hell

So Tuesday I noticed I was starting to get one of those obnoxious zits that sits under the skin and just pulses with pain, sucky. So, I grabbed a wash cloth, and soaked it in hot water and applied to my face, so the zit would come to the surface. I swear I didn't try to pop it because I know what happens when you do that... But anyway, I put the hot compress on it, and I put a little spot treatment on it - basically a little dab of the mint julep mask I usually use on my face and then after washing it off I dabbed a little tea tree oil on it. Well, in the morning it was HUUUUUGE, and red and swollen and nasty looking. :( Today it doesn't look much better. Sucks to be female and get those stupid monthly breakouts. I'm also a little worried that instead of a zit I have the super strain of staph infection that is going around the state right now, that's how they say it starts - with a pimple. How lame is that?

Washing your hands regularly is the best way to prevent the spread of staph infection, just remember that.

Grrr...

So I worked 72 hours last week. I'm not super complaining, but I was tired as hell last week and I thought I would have a normal workweek this week, but already I'm busy and I'll probably end up working until 6pm again today :( I already know I'll be doing at least one 12hr. day this week anyway, which is fine, I get time and a half for overtime, which makes it all worth it. Thing that sucks is I can't make it to Jazzercise when I work those kinds of hours, and I eat kinda crappy food because I just feel like it dammit! Anyway, I'm stressed and it's only gonna get worse I think. Lame. The money is good and I'm planning on buying myself a new mattress when this is all over, so exciting. I guess I'm just going to have to put my weight-loss plans on hold for a little while. Oh well, who cares.

Working this early should be a crime

For realz yo!

It's been a while

I don't have anything new to report here today. My life is just chuggin along as it should.

So anyway...

I got to work at 6:30 this morning because I had a huge amount of things I needed to get done, and I wanted to get a "jump" on the day. I got here and I was the only person here and I don't have a key to the building so I had to wait until someone else showed up, which wasn't until 5 after 7. Lame, I should have slept another 20 minutes.

Super Busy Today

For real, I don't think there is enough time in the day for me to get everything done that needs to get done today. Waa, but I'm going to Jazzercise tonight and no one can stop me.

Columbus Day

So I'm at work today, even though it's a government holiday and my customers are all off of work and there's nothing for me to do. Since I'm a contractor I don't get the day off and I have to come in to the office and sit around with nothing to do. Boring. Why does the government get off for this day anyway? Columbus got lost in the ocean, landed on a continent that already had a bunch of people living on it, he killed most of them (if he didn't kill them directly, then he started it) and now the government and certain school districts get the day off? How lame is that. Oh yeah, and don't forget about the furniture sales. I need a new mattress, so maybe it's good for something.

Anyway, so I am gonna leave early today because theres nothing to do, but I didn't want to take the whole day off because I don't have enough leave for that. Woo-hoo. I think I will get a haircut today.

Today is Thursday

Which means that tomorrow is Friday, and that's just awesome-ness. I'm listening to the oldies station in my office because, since the building is basically a big steel coffin, it's the only station that I can get on the radio and I just hate sitting in silence. They are playing that Carly Stevens (?) song "You're so Vain" song. Hahaha, that song always makes me laugh.

Anyway, I'm just going to ramble here so bear with me. I think I may have PMDD, or maybe just seasonal depression. I find myself getting ridiculously tearful lately, like when Aaron and I were watching Meerkat Manor the other day and Flower (the dominant female of the 'Whiskers' family) died of a fatal snake bite to the face, I totally lost it like a little girl. Aaron laughed at me. I also sleep a LOT lately, which sucks sometimes because I don't mean to, but I just sit on the couch for like, 10 minutes and I'm out for 3 hours, and then I can't get to sleep later when I actually want to. The reason I think it might be PMDD instead of regular depression though is because my boobs are soooooooooooo sore all the time, and that really really sucks. I need to go to the doctor but I hate my gynecologist and I need to find a new one, but I have no idea who to go to. If anybody who reads this blogs knows of a good ob/gyn in the Fredericksburg area, I would love a recomendation.

The woman I was seeing is just not very nice (not that I expect a doctor to be nice, but at least compassionate would be nice). Last time I saw, I was having a problem and she just didn't want to discuss it with me, she rushed me in and out and told me I needed to lose weight, and that was that. I tried explaining to her about my family history of gynecological cancers and she was all "cervical cancer is not genetic, yada yada yada". Just a whole bunch of other stuff and I don't like the way she talks to me and makes me feel and I just don't want to deal with her anymore. So yeah, I need a new doc.

I also have a history of depression, which is why I am sort of considering going back on meds, because I always get super depressed during the winter, and I just don't want to have another winter like that anymore. I would like to enjoy my life and not spend it crying and sleeping and eating and feeling sorry for myself. Meow meow meow.

Something to think about

If a life is made up of a series of days, what am I doing TODAY to make a wonderful life?

It's hard to really divide up your life like that, always thinking about tomorrow and putting things off until later, etc. etc. But you can't live like that. You can't live life for "today" all the time either, because there is a tomorrow, and choices you make today, affect what life is going to be like tomorrow, and the day after and the day after.

So what am I going to do today to make my life wonderful?

I will do my best, and that's all I can say.

OMG a BLOG!

It's my blog, I'm a poseur, like everyone else. I don't have a whole lot to say right now. I am at work and I probably shouldn't be doing this, so... most of my posting here will be done at home and you lovely people will just have to read it in the morning after it's already old news.