Post Christmas Greetings and Happy New Year!

Hello everyone! I'm finally back at my desk to write a blog! How exciting. I had a good holiday this year. I got some pretty nice gifts from my lovely boyfriend, and his family and of course Jenn got me some great chocolate/coffee scented bath stuff and my cousin got me strawberry scented bath stuff and Aaron's folks got me pomegranite (sp?)/lychee scented bath stuff, so I should be set on bath stuff for a while, considering that I already had peach scented shower gel, rose scented shower gel, and spiced vanilla scented shower gel in my shower already. I can have a different scent everyday!

The only thing I didn't get was $120 so I could do "Personal Touch" at Jazzercise, which I guess I'm gonna have to pay for myself.

So I'm working on what my new year's resolutions are going to be, so far I have:

1. quit smoking (that was my resolution last year, and I did quit for almost six months, and then I started again, cuz I suck).

2. get back on program on Weight Watchers and lose another 30 lbs. (at least I actually completed on resolution this year, go me!)

3. watch less TV

4. read more books

5. keep my apartment clean and clutter free at all times (which I'm hoping I will be able to do if I watch less TV).

That's all I got so far and I think that's all I'm gonna do, cuz that's a tall order right there.

It's been a while since I posted

There's not much NEW going on in my life right to post about I guess. Life is just chug chug chuggin along as normal. I did a lot of shopping this weekend, but most of it was for me and not for Christmas presents, which I'm kinda feeling guilty about but whatever, I needed the stuff I bought so it wasn't all impulse buying. I did get a few presents for people though which is nice and now I will probably have to wait until my next paycheck which comes the Friday before Christmas before I can finish my Christmas shopping.

It's funny - I am a atheist/agnostic (born and raised if you will) and I celebrate Christmas because it's the "American Way" I suppose. This Chinese girl that I work with is also atheist/agnostic and she doesn't celebrate Christmas, because there aren't nearly as many Christains in China as there are in the US, so it's not as hyped up I guess. The thing is, Christmas (at least the way my family and a lot of families celebrate it) is not really that Christain of a holiday (not like Easter, Good Friday, etc.) The tree is Pagan, the colors red & green are pagan winter solstice colors, etc. etc. etc. So I suppose it doesn't really matter that I celebrate Christmas. I enjoy giving people presents as a way of showing them I appreciate them. I enjoy spending time with my friends and family. To me that's what Christmas is.

There's my rambling post for the week, I hope you enjoyed it.

My dog Iris

My dog Iris still lives in Chicago of course, with my parents, so technically she's my parents dog, but we got her when I was 16 (nearly 17) so I consider her my dog.

About January when I was 16 y/o we put the family dog 'Jumper' down. He was a 12 or 13 y/o German Shephard mix. Great dog, really wonderful, I still get teary eyed when I think of him :( About six months or so after saying goodbye to Jumper we all decided to go on down to the City Pound and pick out a new family member. Let me tell you, the City Pound is a great/depressing place. There's lots of cute puppies and dogs there, which makes it great, but there's also lots of sad looking dogs that you just know are not going to be around much longer, which of course makes it depressing.

Anyway, after looking around in a bunch of different rooms at all the pups and dogs I stumbled upon this shy looking girl pup. She was giving me that characteristic puppy dog look, just sitting in her cage all sad and lonely looking. She was super cute, the info card on her cage said she was 6 months old "mixed breed", which means MUTT. And she looks like a mutt too, she's got a kind of rotweiller thing going with brown and black face and body, but she's kinda small and her body is shaped almost like a whippet or something. She's got brown legs with black leopard like spots all over them. Those spots are why my dad calls her ugly. But anyway, I saw her and immediately fell in love with her. I went to get my mom and brother to show her off to them. Although my mother had her eye on this goofy looking white dog, he had longish hair and skinny legs. I thought he/she was pretty ugly and not nearly as sweet looking as Iris.

So after about 20 minutes of begging, I finally convinced my mom that Iris was the dog for us. We weren't allowed to take her home right away for some strange reason we had to wait until the next day. Well, I wasn't home when they brought her home, I was probably out with friends or something like that. But that sweet shy dog completely changed her attitude once she found out she was HOME. She was jumping all over everybody and everything, wagging her tail something feirce and licking and it was adorable.

Anyway, Iris is 10 years old now and not nearly as wild and crazy as she once was. She sleeps in my parents bed with them and my father says that in the mornings he's got to drag her by her collar to get her up and down the stairs for her morning pee break and breakfast time, and when she's done with that she's right back in bed with my mom. I love that dog.

When I move into my own house I'm gonna get a dog and I hope it's just like Iris. Although Jumper was a great dog too, and if I could some sort of strange combination of the two, that would be great, thanks.

Sorry, I can't find a picture of her anywhere. She's awesome though.

I hate Xmas Carols

I don't understand why they have to be played for a whole freakin month! Tans-Siberian Orchestra is CRAP! That's right, I said it.

Aaron's mom has been playing Xmas music since BEFORE Thanksgiving even - Dolly Parton Christmas, CRAP - Trans Siberian Orchestra, CRAP - other generic Xmas music, CRAP.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no grinch. I like the holidays just as much as anyone, the lights, the shopping, the food, the spending time with friends and family, the presents, all of it. If Xmas music was only playing for like one week before the actual holiday, I might actually enjoy it. But no, someone got the bright idea that it should be played for the whole month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and whoever that was, I DON'T wish them a Merry Christmas. For real.

The only radio station that I can actually receive inside the steel coffin called my office building is 95.9 fm, which is the oldies station (which is somewhat annoying all on it's own) and that particular station is playing nothing but Christmas music between now and Christmas. So now I have to decide what to do - sit in silence all day (which sucks) or play Christmas music all day. Both options have a very high probability of driving me to the looney bin.

Copied

Copied from Roxanna who copied from Erin who copied from Katherine who copied from Adrienne:

1. To whom did you last give the finger? My coworker Donnie for saying "Pizza Pizza" while I was talking to my other coworker Jon, it's an inside joke.

2. If you had 1,000 dollars what would you buy? I would also pay a bill.

3.What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Probably coffee

4. Are you different now than you were 6 months ago? Sure, if you want to talk on a cellular sense I'm probably a whole new person.

5. Have you been anywhere exciting in the last three days? Nope

6. What was the last photograph you took? Phalanx, it's a gun.

7. Where were you last night around 9:30? Home, watching the end of Live Free or Die Hard (lame!)

8. What do you think of guys that wear eyeliner? LAME

9. How many hours did you last sleep? 7ish

10. Who was the last person to whom you spoke on the phone? I actually just got off the phone with Jenn M.

11. 50 Cent shows up at your door, what do you do? Tell him he's got the wrong house.

12. How was the last egg you ate prepared? Over-easy, with toast.

13. Where did you last wear sunglasses? Driving home

14. Ever worn your underwear backwards? yes, but not on purpose

15. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? Myself

16. Does it bother you when people put && before every sentence and after? If I ever saw someone do that, then, yes, it would.

17. What animal did you last pet or hold? Mr. Q

18. What was the last law you broke? Gravity

19. What are you wearing? Black hoodie, jeans, sneakers.

20. What did you think of your last kiss? Pretty normal

21. What was the last newspaper you read or skimmed? Fredericksburg.com

22. What was the last word written on your hand? Don't remember the last time I wrote on my hand

23. What was the last hair product you used? shampoo and conditioner

24. What was the last text message you received? "Did u get any emails or 3 haha" from Jenn

26. Who was the last person to make you really laugh? Aaron

27. To what song did you last sing along? I always sing along to the radio, even if I don't know the words.

28. What was the last musical instrument played in your presence? Aaron plays the trumpet for me all the time.

29. What was the last superstitious thing you did? Knock on wood

Night time snacks

It's incredible, I'm SURE I'm not the only person sabotaging myself this way, but it's still annoying. I can eat well all day long, then when night time rolls around, all I can think about is snacking! I try my best to control myself, but lately (perhaps because of hormones, depression, lack of sunlight, coldness, whatevs) I really can't. I had a good weigh in this past Saturday at Weight Watchers (-3.7 lbs. for a total of 33.1 lbs. lost) but I'm sure I'm just right back up again because of all my bingeing :(

And if you don't know, now you know

On my way home tonight I was listening to the radio, playing Notorious B.I.G, and it kept fuzzing out between that and some weird country song. So frustrating!

Weekend

I was so lazy all weekend, all I did was lie around all day and watch TV and eat. I suck.

Ok, this is getting ridiculous

I just had to post this though:


Aaron is under that mass of fur there somewhere.

Another dorky cat post

This is totally Little Asshole in the morning.

Furries!

This is Javier:

Aka: Javier Gomez, Javi-Bear, Fattington McFluffers, Fliffington McFatters, Stinky
Stats: 4 yrs. old, 14.5 lbs, gay, lazy, super sweet, stinky breath, fluffy
Interests: food, sleep, purring, catnip

This is Q-Tip:

Aka: Quentin Tipinstein, Q-Bear, Bastard, Little Asshole
Stats: 5 yrs. old, 16 lbs., gay, insane, short haired
Interests: food, sleep, waking Cindy up early in the morning with insane howling and pawing at the blinds, catnip

My mom is funny

My mom slept on my couch last night (I don't want to sound like a bad daughter here, but we don't have a guest room, so it's the couch or the floor). Anyway, I set my alarm for 4:30, which would allow me to hit the snooze button a couple times before I needed to get up and make coffee. I got out of bed around 4:50, made some coffee and then lied back down on the love seat. At about 5 my mother got up and said "Do you want some coffee?", to which I mumbled "mmm". Then she said "Just lay there, I'll get it. Or 'lie' rather"

Lol, at 5:00 a.m., who cares about grammar? My mother apparently.

So, I guess it's official

I feel super depressed today, I binged when I got home from work - not totally crazy - 2 100 cal. packs, some leftover lasagna, bread, and a small cup of ice cream. As long as I don't eat anything else later tonight, and I get some exercise I should be fine. I just feel like shit. I think it's about time I do something about it, I can't go another season feeling depressed and shitty. I feel like I can't do my job, like I don't deserve it and I'm a total fraud. I can't focus, I'm forgetting everything and I'm completely disorganized and I can't get anything done. I've been researching this drug called strattera, it's for ADHD, but it doesn't have any stimulants in it and it also supposedly helps with depression. I don't normally like the idea of relying on drugs to solve my problems but I can't live like this. :(

To top everything all off, my mother is here again tonight. She's just staying the night so she can hang out with my grandpa since he's running for supervisor in King George and she wants to be with him when the election is over. I just don't feel like dealing with my mom tonight, I just want to be alone right now, but I can't be. No fair.

Yay Mommy!

My mom is coming to DC this weekend for a conference and I'm going up there to meet up with her and do the tourist thing tomorrow and then I think we're gonna go get Etheopian food. Don't laugh, it's good.

Today is also Friday, which, after about 5:00 p.m. tonight is the best day of the whole week. Hooray for Friday!!!

So tired... want sleep

I'm so sick of working these long hours I'm going to shoot someone. I can't wait for this test to be over with and I can go back to my normal hours. I've been working from 6:30am to about 6pm everyday for the last 2.5 weeks. (Although we did get out at normal times a couple days last week because of the rain). I'm just cranky, I've been eating stupid junk food because it's there in front my face, I'm bored and I'm tired so I need the sugar. I haven't stepped on the scale in a while, but I'm pretty sure I've put on a couple pounds. I've been so off track on the weight watchers for the last 3 months basically. I haven't been tracking like I should and I've been "cheating" nearly everyday. I don't know what I need to do to get my motivation back. I want to lose at least another 15 more pounds, if not another 30. Darn it.

This cat and I are on the same page

So it starts again

It's the end of my cycle and I should be getting my period soon and I'm feeling like poop on a platter. Yesterday I fell asleep on the couch at about 5:15 and slept until 9:30. Then I was up for a couple hours and feeling icky and I whined and cried to Aaron about stupid stuff, and then we had an argument about the dishes. Then I fell asleep again from 11:30 until 6am this morning. The night before it was the same thing, sleep from 5:30 until 9:30, then sleep again from 11 to 6am. Feeling sluggish and icky. I don't know if those are symptoms of PMDD, or if I'm just totally worn out and tired from the long stressful hours I'm pulling at work. I just want 3 straight days off I think so I can recoup. Not going to happen though. I'm working 12 hrs. this coming up Saturday :(

Monster Zit From Hell

So Tuesday I noticed I was starting to get one of those obnoxious zits that sits under the skin and just pulses with pain, sucky. So, I grabbed a wash cloth, and soaked it in hot water and applied to my face, so the zit would come to the surface. I swear I didn't try to pop it because I know what happens when you do that... But anyway, I put the hot compress on it, and I put a little spot treatment on it - basically a little dab of the mint julep mask I usually use on my face and then after washing it off I dabbed a little tea tree oil on it. Well, in the morning it was HUUUUUGE, and red and swollen and nasty looking. :( Today it doesn't look much better. Sucks to be female and get those stupid monthly breakouts. I'm also a little worried that instead of a zit I have the super strain of staph infection that is going around the state right now, that's how they say it starts - with a pimple. How lame is that?

Washing your hands regularly is the best way to prevent the spread of staph infection, just remember that.

Grrr...

So I worked 72 hours last week. I'm not super complaining, but I was tired as hell last week and I thought I would have a normal workweek this week, but already I'm busy and I'll probably end up working until 6pm again today :( I already know I'll be doing at least one 12hr. day this week anyway, which is fine, I get time and a half for overtime, which makes it all worth it. Thing that sucks is I can't make it to Jazzercise when I work those kinds of hours, and I eat kinda crappy food because I just feel like it dammit! Anyway, I'm stressed and it's only gonna get worse I think. Lame. The money is good and I'm planning on buying myself a new mattress when this is all over, so exciting. I guess I'm just going to have to put my weight-loss plans on hold for a little while. Oh well, who cares.

Working this early should be a crime

For realz yo!

It's been a while

I don't have anything new to report here today. My life is just chuggin along as it should.

So anyway...

I got to work at 6:30 this morning because I had a huge amount of things I needed to get done, and I wanted to get a "jump" on the day. I got here and I was the only person here and I don't have a key to the building so I had to wait until someone else showed up, which wasn't until 5 after 7. Lame, I should have slept another 20 minutes.

Super Busy Today

For real, I don't think there is enough time in the day for me to get everything done that needs to get done today. Waa, but I'm going to Jazzercise tonight and no one can stop me.

Columbus Day

So I'm at work today, even though it's a government holiday and my customers are all off of work and there's nothing for me to do. Since I'm a contractor I don't get the day off and I have to come in to the office and sit around with nothing to do. Boring. Why does the government get off for this day anyway? Columbus got lost in the ocean, landed on a continent that already had a bunch of people living on it, he killed most of them (if he didn't kill them directly, then he started it) and now the government and certain school districts get the day off? How lame is that. Oh yeah, and don't forget about the furniture sales. I need a new mattress, so maybe it's good for something.

Anyway, so I am gonna leave early today because theres nothing to do, but I didn't want to take the whole day off because I don't have enough leave for that. Woo-hoo. I think I will get a haircut today.

Today is Thursday

Which means that tomorrow is Friday, and that's just awesome-ness. I'm listening to the oldies station in my office because, since the building is basically a big steel coffin, it's the only station that I can get on the radio and I just hate sitting in silence. They are playing that Carly Stevens (?) song "You're so Vain" song. Hahaha, that song always makes me laugh.

Anyway, I'm just going to ramble here so bear with me. I think I may have PMDD, or maybe just seasonal depression. I find myself getting ridiculously tearful lately, like when Aaron and I were watching Meerkat Manor the other day and Flower (the dominant female of the 'Whiskers' family) died of a fatal snake bite to the face, I totally lost it like a little girl. Aaron laughed at me. I also sleep a LOT lately, which sucks sometimes because I don't mean to, but I just sit on the couch for like, 10 minutes and I'm out for 3 hours, and then I can't get to sleep later when I actually want to. The reason I think it might be PMDD instead of regular depression though is because my boobs are soooooooooooo sore all the time, and that really really sucks. I need to go to the doctor but I hate my gynecologist and I need to find a new one, but I have no idea who to go to. If anybody who reads this blogs knows of a good ob/gyn in the Fredericksburg area, I would love a recomendation.

The woman I was seeing is just not very nice (not that I expect a doctor to be nice, but at least compassionate would be nice). Last time I saw, I was having a problem and she just didn't want to discuss it with me, she rushed me in and out and told me I needed to lose weight, and that was that. I tried explaining to her about my family history of gynecological cancers and she was all "cervical cancer is not genetic, yada yada yada". Just a whole bunch of other stuff and I don't like the way she talks to me and makes me feel and I just don't want to deal with her anymore. So yeah, I need a new doc.

I also have a history of depression, which is why I am sort of considering going back on meds, because I always get super depressed during the winter, and I just don't want to have another winter like that anymore. I would like to enjoy my life and not spend it crying and sleeping and eating and feeling sorry for myself. Meow meow meow.

Something to think about

If a life is made up of a series of days, what am I doing TODAY to make a wonderful life?

It's hard to really divide up your life like that, always thinking about tomorrow and putting things off until later, etc. etc. But you can't live like that. You can't live life for "today" all the time either, because there is a tomorrow, and choices you make today, affect what life is going to be like tomorrow, and the day after and the day after.

So what am I going to do today to make my life wonderful?

I will do my best, and that's all I can say.

OMG a BLOG!

It's my blog, I'm a poseur, like everyone else. I don't have a whole lot to say right now. I am at work and I probably shouldn't be doing this, so... most of my posting here will be done at home and you lovely people will just have to read it in the morning after it's already old news.